My name is Eric Lampaert (Lamb Pear) I studied at École Internationale de Théâtre Jacques Lecoq in PARIS & Middlesex University in LONDON

T4 RISING STAR OF 2012
RAINDANCE SHORT FILM NOMINEE 2011
WINNER OF LATITUDE COMEDY COMPETITION 2010
WINNER OF LAUGHING HORSE BIG COMEDY COMPETITION 2008

I’ve also done stuff on BBC2, BBC3, CH4, CH5, E4, ITV2, HBO and appeared on LIFE’S TOO SHORT, CARDINAL BURNS, THE MIDNIGHT BEAST, HOW TO SURVIVE A DISASTER MOVIE and much (little) more.

(Statistically this shows something good every two years… So don’t bother coming to see me during 2013, I’ll clearly be rubbish. But strap in for 2014! Woo. The chapter in my future autobiography I will possibly call “The year that changed everything, for everyone in the World”) All of this made sense except for the 2011 bit….

“QUIRKY WITH AN EYE FOR THE ABSURD AND A COUPLE OF NEAR-IZZARDIAN FLOURISHES… ENERGY IS SUCH THAT IT’S ALMOST OSMOTIC” – THE STAGE

I really like that quote for two reasons;
Firstly, it mentions one of my heroes, Eddie Izzard, as an adjective. (I hope to achieve that status one day, possibly as a verb “Shall we go Lampaert?” the future people will say. “I Lampaerted yesterday” – Not sure on the definition of the verb yet)

Secondly, it suggests that if you come and watch me, a chemical and biological process will “almost” happen, by which, my concentrated energetic molecules will pass through a semi permeable membrane (Possibly the actor’s “fourth wall”) into a languorous audience, thus equalizing the concentrations on each side of the membrane. I think that’s what it suggests…

“LIKEABLE AND ENJOYING, SWEEPING UP THE AUDIENCE IN THE SHEER ENERGY OF HIS PERFORMANCE. THE STRENGTH OF HIS SCATTY CHARACTER RIPS THROUGH THE ROOM LIKE A MINI-HURRICANE” – CHORTLE

Again, a lovely quote, but this time, my energy is not metaphorically represented as a chemical process but as one of Mummy Nature’s fiercest outbursts. You may not know this, but all comics love to be compared to a meteorological event.
Comic 1: How was your gig last night?
Comic 2: I rained such funny jokes that I literally flooded the audience. Killed two people.
Comic 1: How very cumulonimbus of you!
Comic 2: Thanks man. Coincidentally, a water pipe did burst at the time I was on stage but it was definitely my jokes that submerge the crowd with laughter.

“AN ABSOLUTE PRICK! NOT FUNNY AT ALL” – RANDOM ANGRY AUDIENCE MEMBER

Can’t please everyone…

“CHARMING AND INTELLIGENT, ENGAGING PERFORMER WHO IMBUES HIS STORIES WITH AN ENJOYABLE DEGREE OF SILLY AND SURREAL HUMOUR… CLEVER COMIC IMAGINATION WHO USES THESE TALES TO RIFF ON AND COME UP WITH SOME DECENT IMPROVISATIONS” – SPOONFED

No metaphors here. This description is essentially spoon-fed to you…

“DELIGHTFULLY WEIRD ★★★★ ” – TIME OUT

My first quote; I remember when I first got that I was like ‘I’ve made it. Time Out have written about me!” Ha ha! Such a naïve idiot. But it’s nice nonetheless.

ERIC FACTS

Get ready for some Eric Lampaert facts (some facts will be lies) written as bullet points. (There will be a quiz afterwards, so do pay attention).

My name is Eric Roy Lampaert (I know, Roy, Ha ha! What were my parents smoking?)

I was born in France in a small town called Hirson, on the 4th October 1986 AD. Same year the Chernobyl disaster happened; coincidence?

I often visit my cousins in Mordor. (Lies may start occurring through out this seminar. It is a seminar!)

I’ve lived in Newmarket, UK, since I was 12 years old, cos my Dad was a jockey (Not the disc kind)

I am a stand up comedian. But if we think of it in terms of World of Warcraft (I’ve never played it; shut up!) I would be a Level 25 comedian telling jokes to the humans and gnomes living in the Tower of Azora in Elwynn. But I hope to one day become a Level 80 comedian, with…you know, shit hot armour and spells.

Anytime I go abroad, I take my Where’s Wally costume with me so I can get some funny pictures.

QUIZ

Thanks for reading the about me section. And as promised, there is now a quiz.

Can you spell Eric’s last name without looking at it?

Did you know Velcro was invented in 1948? Yes/No

What small town was Eric born in?

In the past 12 months, have you had sexual contact with a prostitute or anyone else who takes money or drugs or other payment for sex?

From 1980 to 1996, were you a member of the U.S. military, a civilian military employee, or a dependent of a member of the U.S. military?

If the answer the above two questions were ‘no, you may be allowed to donate blood.

When are you next going to see Eric on stage? (At this point, you click on the ‘Live’ section of my website)

Thank you for reading